I won 100 mill and

Sep 15, 2023

When I first read this question I closed my eyes and let my imagination run wild.

100 million.

I could hear the crystal blue waters gently ebbing on the white sandy shore of the desert island I’d just bought.

The peace!

The serenity!

The… loneliness?

Let me explain.

I have worked with hundreds of women and almost all of them would like more money. I mean, who wouldn’t. I sure as heck do!

But why?

Is it because we think more money will solve our problems? I mean, it would to a degree. Would I, as a single, childfree, 42 year old woman sleep better knowing I had 100 million in the bank? Yes.
But would that mean I’d never have to worry about money again?

My friend Emma and I love to exchange funny memes about money.

“All I need is a good night’s sleep and a million dollars!”

“Sometimes you’re not sad, you just need money!”

“I got 99 problems and money would solve 98 of them!”

These little pockets of LOL disrupt our day to play into a misguided (but alluring) idea that money would simply solve all of our problems.

Emma and I have had more than one conversation about what we’d do with 100 million.

Aside from each other (obvs) which of our friends would we give money to?

And how much money?

Would we ask certain friends not to disclose to other friends how much we’d given them?

What would we say to those friends who are friends but not like “here’s 500k for no good reason” friends? Would we tell them straight, “look you’re great and everything and I really loved clubbing with you back in the day but times have changed and I’m filthy rich now and frankly, you just didn’t make the cut? Also did I lend you my Boyzone CD back in 1998 and if so can I have it back please?”

And what about the friends who now suddenly feel like freeloaders? Or new friends. Are they friends because they like me or are they friends because I’m minted?

The fantasy begins to crack.

The reality of the lotto win brings the grave realisation that you will now be different from those around you.

This my friends is the fear of success in action.

What if my business goes too well? What if I earn too much? What if I stop being relatable to the people around me? What if I’m different from the pack?

Safety lies in fitting in. Success can make you stick out.

Unchecked, these fears will lead to self sabotage, procrastination and a plethora of excuses that hold you back. But we’re not here to talk about the fear of success.

We’re here to work out what to do with a hypothetical 100 million lotto win.

So back to Emma and our discussion about how we’d divide the money up with the people we love.

Where Emma landed was this. She’d tell her friends that her parents had come into some money, thereby releasing her from any obligation to give anyone anything. Smart!

Me? There's no way in hell I’d be able to keep that lie going.

So I’d be the friend who won the lottery and the balance of power within my friendships would shift and while the money would solve one set of problems it would also throw up a set of new ones.

Does this mean I don’t want 100 million? Of course not! I’m not an idiot.

But, the first thing I would do is work out who I need to become to handle that amount of money and the fresh set of problems that comes with it.

Because who I am right now doesn’t know how to handle one million, let alone 100.

Let me put it this way.

You could give me the role of Baby in the West End production of Dirty Dancing, sure. I’d be stoked! I’ve seen that film on VHS so many times I can even recite the words to the adverts that were on the telly the day we recorded it.

But just because I can speak the words, doesn’t mean I can do the dance.

I’d still need to train (and train) to take on the role of Baby in real life.

Just because I love the film doesn’t mean I can act the part.

You could make me CEO of Cadburys and again, I’d be stoked. I’ve eaten more chocolate than any health professional would recommend. But I still wouldn’t be able to run the business without years of training for the role. I don’t know how to be a CEO of a company that size.

The same goes with money.

Imagine suddenly having 100 million in your bank. Most of us are extremely under qualified to handle that much or the problems that come with it.

It’s why an estimated 70% of lottery winners end up broke. Google it! There are some confronting stories.

If we’re not managing the money we have now (mentally, energetically or physically) we’re not going to be promoted to the next level. And if we are by some miracle of a lotto win, most of us won’t be able to handle it.

As a 40-something woman who works with other 40-something women I can tell you that one of the biggest fears for women in this age bracket is not having enough money to look after themselves in old age.

But waiting for a lotto win is not the answer.

You need to start training yourself today for a different financial reality tomorrow.

Check your stories. “Men are better with money.”

Challenge your identity. “I’m not very good with money.”

Confront your belief systems. “Rich people are assholes.”

Then educate yourself. Change your spending, saving and investing habits as needed. Get advice from qualified and trusted advisors.

Financial liberation is not found in 100 million.

It’s in your hands.

So, once I’ve done the emotional internal work and found a team of trusted advisors to help me manage 100 million, how would I spend it?







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