A Christmas Message – Emily Style!

Christmas! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! But let’s be honest it can also be extremely stressful and ridiculously expensive. Two days ago I landed back in England (please, be colder. And wetter. And darker. And… sarcasm) with a suitcase full of gifts which my nieces and nephews definitely don’t need but I’m hoping want enough to love …

The Biggest Money Block (that’s stopping you attracting your worth)

Ah Christmas! I must admit I’m feeling zero festive cheer right now because as I write this in Melbourne it is 785 degrees Celsius outside (shut up I don’t exaggerate you do!). My air con is trying and failing to keep the temperature inside bearable and as a British chick, I am used to being colder than a snowman’s testicles …

It’s Okay For You Because… The Inconvenient Truth

It is 1.47am exactly and the sat-nav cheerily informs me that I have another 39 minutes until I reach my destination. I want to punch it. And I want to pee. Real bad. But pulling over would add another 7 minutes onto my arrival time, pushing my ‘fall into bed’ time dangerously close to 3am. So I exercise my pelvic …

Things I Wish I Knew Then (that I have to remind myself of now)

Things I Wish I Knew Then Last week, my phone and I fell out. The little fucker had done that thing where it worked perfectly in every way except one. The battery. Yep, seeing 100% battery on the screen meant as much as hearing your Tinder date say he’d definitely call you – a bunch of bullshit; an empty promise …

That Relationship You Can’t Get Out Of…

I kill things. All the time. As you walk into my house a dead Bonsai greats you. It’s been with me for years and I live in the deluded hop that one day it will magically resurrect itself. Pot plants don’t stand a chance in my house and even my childhood goldfish (I called her Felicity and I loved her …

Why Self-Care Is dangerous (this one’s punchy, even for me!)

It’s a Sunday morning and I’ve just tossed aside my phone with a kind of heaviness in my heart. It’s HASHTAG SELFCARE SUNDAY and I hate it. Pictures of baby-faced models with their caffeine and hemp infused face masks lying in luxurious baths full of yaks’ milk with their impossibly long legs kicking over the side in a whimsical fashion …

How To Win The Race Of Life (or at least not crash and burn too badly)

I’m just going to come out and say this. I’m not a massive fan of the horse. Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against horses and wish them, nor any other living creature harm. But I just never got the whole horse thing the way some teenage girls do (I had friends who would Gymkhana every weekend but all I wanted to so was sneak off with my best mate to smoke the Marlborough Lights she’d nicked from her Mum’s ciggie packet – I was not a nice teenager.)

How To Heal (warning, do not read if you want to stay a victim of your circumstances)

I am sitting in one of those impossibly hipster cafes where nothing has ever touched an animal and the staff are trained to know precisely fuck all. I’m glad I’m spending half a month’s rent for this culinary experience. No really. Thrilled.

I order a drink while waiting for my friend to rock up. I have no idea what possessed me to do it but I figured when in Spain (I don’t really know what that phrase means) and so I ordered a drink that contained the following ingredients in no particular order.

A Star Is Born – and it was sad (not a movie review)

Last night, I went to the cinema with some friends to watch A Star Is Born. I had two reasons for wanting to see this film.

I hadn’t heard any film reviews, nor had I seen the three older movies of the same title.

I naively went into the movie theatre expecting a chick flick (whatever that means) and so was caught offside by the torrent of emotion that the film delivered. If you haven’t seen the film, it’s a lot.

Great. But a lot.

What To Do If You Fucking Hate Yoga

For years now I’ve tried to enjoy mainstream yoga. I want so much to be into it and bendy like my glorious friend Emily (yep, we’re both called Emily and it’s cute AF).

But the harsh reality is, if we were food stuffs ‘on the mat’ glorious Emily would be a pretzel and I’d be a cheese stick.