How To Cope At Christmas When Life Feels Fucking Awful

I am sat on a train (hard) whilst I type this blog which is to be published on Christmas eve of 2018. Two stops ago some teenager walked past me leaving a cloud of hormones and Lynx Africa in his wake. After I caught my breath (why do they still produce Lynx Africa? It wasn’t great in the 80’s and …

A Christmas Message – Emily Style!

Christmas! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! But let’s be honest it can also be extremely stressful and ridiculously expensive. Two days ago I landed back in England (please, be colder. And wetter. And darker. And… sarcasm) with a suitcase full of gifts which my nieces and nephews definitely don’t need but I’m hoping want enough to love …

The Biggest Money Block (that’s stopping you attracting your worth)

Ah Christmas! I must admit I’m feeling zero festive cheer right now because as I write this in Melbourne it is 785 degrees Celsius outside (shut up I don’t exaggerate you do!). My air con is trying and failing to keep the temperature inside bearable and as a British chick, I am used to being colder than a snowman’s testicles …

It’s Okay For You Because… The Inconvenient Truth

It is 1.47am exactly and the sat-nav cheerily informs me that I have another 39 minutes until I reach my destination. I want to punch it. And I want to pee. Real bad. But pulling over would add another 7 minutes onto my arrival time, pushing my ‘fall into bed’ time dangerously close to 3am. So I exercise my pelvic …

Things I Wish I Knew Then (that I have to remind myself of now)

Things I Wish I Knew Then Last week, my phone and I fell out. The little fucker had done that thing where it worked perfectly in every way except one. The battery. Yep, seeing 100% battery on the screen meant as much as hearing your Tinder date say he’d definitely call you – a bunch of bullshit; an empty promise …

That Relationship You Can’t Get Out Of…

I kill things. All the time. As you walk into my house a dead Bonsai greats you. It’s been with me for years and I live in the deluded hop that one day it will magically resurrect itself. Pot plants don’t stand a chance in my house and even my childhood goldfish (I called her Felicity and I loved her …

Why Self-Care Is dangerous (this one’s punchy, even for me!)

It’s a Sunday morning and I’ve just tossed aside my phone with a kind of heaviness in my heart. It’s HASHTAG SELFCARE SUNDAY and I hate it. Pictures of baby-faced models with their caffeine and hemp infused face masks lying in luxurious baths full of yaks’ milk with their impossibly long legs kicking over the side in a whimsical fashion …

How To Win The Race Of Life (or at least not crash and burn too badly)

I’m just going to come out and say this. I’m not a massive fan of the horse. Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against horses and wish them, nor any other living creature harm. But I just never got the whole horse thing the way some teenage girls do (I had friends who would Gymkhana every weekend but all I wanted to so was sneak off with my best mate to smoke the Marlborough Lights she’d nicked from her Mum’s ciggie packet – I was not a nice teenager.)

How To Heal (warning, do not read if you want to stay a victim of your circumstances)

I am sitting in one of those impossibly hipster cafes where nothing has ever touched an animal and the staff are trained to know precisely fuck all. I’m glad I’m spending half a month’s rent for this culinary experience. No really. Thrilled.

I order a drink while waiting for my friend to rock up. I have no idea what possessed me to do it but I figured when in Spain (I don’t really know what that phrase means) and so I ordered a drink that contained the following ingredients in no particular order.

A Star Is Born – and it was sad (not a movie review)

Last night, I went to the cinema with some friends to watch A Star Is Born. I had two reasons for wanting to see this film.

I hadn’t heard any film reviews, nor had I seen the three older movies of the same title.

I naively went into the movie theatre expecting a chick flick (whatever that means) and so was caught offside by the torrent of emotion that the film delivered. If you haven’t seen the film, it’s a lot.

Great. But a lot.