It's Okay For You Because... The Inconvenient Truth

It is 1.47am exactly and the sat-nav cheerily informs me that I have another 39 minutes until I reach my destination. I want to punch it.

And I want to pee.

Real bad.

But pulling over would add another 7 minutes onto my arrival time, pushing my ‘fall into bed’ time dangerously close to 3am. So I exercise my pelvic floor and try to think about anything else.

The sheer volume of rain against the windscreen isn’t helping. Water water everywhere. This is not a pleasant drive.

 Follow me on Insta for some #unashamedlyhuman action emily_thatcrazythingcalledlife

Follow me on Insta for some #unashamedlyhuman action emily_thatcrazythingcalledlife

I’ve always been slightly scared of the noise of a windscreen wiper fighting against a torrent of rain. Some childhood nightmare I assume, still clinging to a part of my adult brain and convincing my neural pathways that the swish swish swish signals danger danger danger.

It doesn’t.

I’m fine.

I’m a confident driver, even late at night in the dark, alone and in a storm.

But truth be told, this drive is very inconvenient.

I’d rather not be doing it.

The radio doesn’t help.

Smooth fm (because I’m old) is way too smooth and every other station seems to have been taken over by some Gen-whatever-comes-after-Z foetus.

Teeny-bopper music my Mum would’ve called it.

I am acutely aware that teeny-bopper music is now what I call it.

Well played Mum, well played.

The windscreen fogs up suddenly.

Why now?

I’ve been driving for an hour and a half ffs!

What sorcery is this? And how do I make it stop?

How is it that just as I am about to congratulate myself on my supreme adultness, a situation like this comes along and I am reminded that at 37, I still don’t know which fan setting de-mists my windscreen.

Oh life, always keeping me humble!

After much adult swearing I figure it out and regain vision, settling back into the journey. I reflect on my day and this blog comes together in my mind.

My inconvenient day!

I was up inconveniently early to get to the gym. Would I have rather stayed in bed on a Saturday morning? Hell yes! I’m human.

Then I ran a live online masterclass which inconveniently clashed with a brunch some mates arranged. But you can’t be in two places at once (although I feel like Elon Musk should be solving that problem anytime now).

Then I rushed to my friend’s house for a Secret Santa Christmas party. I had to leave early, inconveniently before the food was served.

I drove for over 2 hours down to Lorne (pretty coastal town in Victoria) to speak at an amazing event that my friend and inspiration Emeli Paulo and her team, The Collective Potential organised (ya’ll should check her out here).

As I got nearer I began to feel the feels that come along with public speaking (am I actually going to shit myself tho?) and had to work really hard at managing my self-talk so I didn’t turn the car around and head back to the safety of Melbourne.

The voice of self-doubt is an inconvenient one.

After my talk the 60 strong group of attendees and I were invited to go on a surprise mission (it sounded fun). Armed with torches and water and with dusk falling and rain threatening, we traipsed to the coast line and climbed over rocks at the water’s edge until we all began to regret the decision. It was getting cold. Our footing was unstable. For a while, it stopped being fun.

It was uncomfortable and inconvenient.

Eventually, we reached a huge cave, blazing in the light of hundreds of candles, lit by the team of Collective Potential who had forged ahead.

images (23).jpg

It was quite simply the most breathtaking thing I had ever seen.

Walking into the cave, a sense of calm, peace and unity flooded every part of my being. It had all been worth it.

The trek back to camp was equally inconvenient and the rain started to fall. The reward? Bed as the clock struck midnight. But not for me. I had to inconveniently drive back to Melbourne for an inconveniently early morning Sunday meeting.

An inconvenient end

Which is how I ended up here, now 27 minutes from home and still busting for a pee.

Here’s the truth you rarely hear. Making your dreams happen is really inconvenient. It takes sacrifice, being uncomfortable, doing the things you don’t always want to do. In short, it fucking sucks.

When I first went into business for myself, I romanticised what entrepreneurship looked like. I’d heard it was tough, but I imagined it would be tough like a movie montage tough. You know, Rocky music and snap shots of me looking off wistfully into the distance as I persevered and looked more like Jennifer Anderson than my actual self.

Turns out, it’s just fucking hard. And I just look like me.

Last week, before this blog formed in my mind I did a Facebook Live which caused quite a stir. I’d had a 24-hour period of people saying in various ways about various things “It’s okay for you because…” and it pissed me off. You can watch all 8 minutes of it here.

Then, on Saturday’s drive down to Lorne I was listening to an interview with motivational speaker Lisa Nichols. She was speaking about her rise from broke single parent to global speaker, multi-millionaire and CEO of “Motivating The Masses”. She said quite simply, “I was willing to be inconvenienced for my convictions.

And boom, there it was.

“I was willing to be inconvenienced for my convictions”

Not, “I did the stuff that felt good”, or “I showed up when it suited me”.

She did the shit that wasn’t convenient when others didn’t. That’s the difference.

 

Some of you will be reading this thinking, “yes but it’s okay for you because...” Seriously. Watch the video.

I learnt early on in business that I didn’t get to make other people special so that I could stand in my excuses.

I didn’t get to assume others had a greatness so that I could live in the absence of mine.

I didn’t get to compare the best chapter of someone else’s career against the epilogue of mine.

It’s not easier for me because...

Honestly, it’s inconvenient as hell.

But every day, I get messages from people thanking me for having the balls to post, film and document the reality of what it is to be human. So the inconvenience is worth it.

Every day I am one step closer to my mission, to my goal, to my dream. So the inconvenience is worth it.

 Follow me on Insat emily_thatcrazythingcalledlife

Follow me on Insat emily_thatcrazythingcalledlife

Every day I am faced with the option to do the comfortable thing. Or the inconvenient thing. Guess which one I choose.

I see so many women who use “it’s okay for you because..” as an excuse not to be brilliant. They’re not willing to be inconvenienced so they make others exceptional as a way to stay safe.

You want to do that personal development course so you can learn to love yourself again? You might need to go through the inconvenience of using some of your precious savings, or suspending your Netflix, Spotify, gym (which you never use anyway because Saturday morning lie ins are more comfortable) and wine club membership subscriptions for a month.  You might need to come home from work and listen to a webinar, meditate and sit in self-reflection with a journal to sort your shit out. Inconvenient when MasterChef is on the telly I know! And many aren’t willing to pay that price. In which case rock on, enjoy your results. But you don’t get to make me or anyone else special so you can conveniently stay ordinary like it’s not your choice.

As someone who spent the first 3 decades of her life choosing convenience, I can promise you that your dreams are worth being inconvenienced for.

If you want to know more, applications are now open for my transformative 8-week group coaching program for women who are ready to put down their excuses and shine in love, life and business. Ask me how - emily@emilychadbourne.com

If this has touched a nerve, good. It means you’re ready to take some responsibility. Read more about this here. If you hate every word I’ve written, just move on. We’re all good.

Thank you very much for reading.

Em x

PS for weekly blogs straight into your inbox, subscribe here.

FREE courses here.

Stalk me here! (not literally!)