A Star Is Born - and it was sad (not a movie review)

Last night, I went to the cinema with some friends to watch A Star Is Born. I had two reasons for wanting to see this film.

1.       Mint Choc Tops (for those UK or USA based readers, a Choc Top is basically an ice-cream in a cone, wrapped in chocolate and is the best thing since, well, Bradley Cooper. Choc Tops are the ice-cream of the Australian movie theatre and my life has been better since I’ve been eating them).

2.       Bradley Cooper.

I hadn’t heard any film reviews, nor had I seen the three older movies of the same title.

I naively went into the movie theatre expecting a chick flick (whatever that means) and so was caught offside by the torrent of emotion that the film delivered. If you haven’t seen the film, it’s a lot.

Great. But a lot.

 These things are everything that is right in the world!

These things are everything that is right in the world!

 Bradley Cooper - also everything that is right in this world.

Bradley Cooper - also everything that is right in this world.

As the film concluded and the credits ran, I exhaled for what felt like the first time in two hours. But the theatre remained utterly quiet. And then. An intended whisper from the woman behind me that was spoken too loudly in such silence. 

“Jesus Christ” she said.

Everyone dissolved into laughter as the tension was unwittingly broken by the woman in L17.

We filed out and normal life resumed.

Except I couldn’t shake off the feeling that the film had evoked in me. I got home and went straight to bed (I was exhausted from the emotion of it all) and had the worst nightmares (very unlike me, sleep is my superpower and I usually remember zero dreams and have been known to wake up in exactly the same position I fell asleep in – I literally sleep like a dead person).

Once morning came I still couldn’t shake the energy – it was affecting my mood, my vibrational frequency and in general making me feel heavy.

In the end a 6km run, 20-minute meditation and dancing around like a loon to some sweet 90’s tunes shifted it.

Now I’m not saying the movie was shit. In fact, it was awesome and I suggest going to see it (if you want to, I’m not a movie critic) but here’s the thing – I never normally watch films that make me feel big feels (horrors, suspense, heart wrenching sadness... and other such genres). I avoid them. Purposefully.

I like movies like Love, Actually and A Muppets Christmas Carol.

Not because I don’t want to feel, but because I feel so much.

I hear the word “empath” banded around frequently (“top tips for being an empath” or “ways to centre yourself as an empath” and other such wank).

If I’m an empath, awesome. Whatevs. I don’t necessarily relate to that word but I do know that I need to protect my own emotional state and vibrational energy or I can take on the problems of the world and feel them as if they are my own.

Which they’re not.

Once I figured out that I was prone to surrogating emotion in this way, I started being more conscious of what I watched, what I listened to and who I hung out with.

It looks like this.

-          I avoid scary movies or novels which make me feel anxious because I don’t want my body to get used to feeling anxious. Because then it’s much more likely to feel… anxious.

-          I avoid watching TV programs like The Bachelor which normalise bullying and bitchiness because it’s not okay – even in the name of entertainment.

-          I choose my news sources carefully and avoid listening to or reading ‘journalism’ which sensationalises and scare mongers in a pathetic attempt to deliver ‘current affairs’.

-          I try to avoid falling into conversations of gossip and victimhood stories because it creates a reality of gossip and victimhood. That’s just exhausting for everyone.

-          I have a no dickheads policy. I’m done with losing my energy to Debbie downers. I am way too old for that shit. I prefer to hang with people who seek solution, encourage and support each other and look for the wonderful things in this life.

 How Lady Gaga rocked up for her movie.  How I rocked up for her movie —>

How Lady Gaga rocked up for her movie.

How I rocked up for her movie —>

IMG_20180224_213910_327.jpg

Here’s the truth. If you have seen A Star Is Born, you will have felt something, even been moved to tears (shut up I’m not crying you are) and if you haven’t see A Star Is Born then you’ve seen a movie that elicited a reaction in you at some point – tears, jumping out of your seat, laughing, squirming, casually shitting your pants etc. Now here’s the thing, consciously you know the movie isn’t real, but your unconscious mind has reacted as if it were. It believes what you are watching, hearing and observing. EVEN IF IT’S NOT REAL.

Let’s all just sit with this concept for a second. It’s pretty fucking huge. Because it means that all the other things you watch, hear and observe will have a massive impact on what your brain thinks is reality. Basically I’m saying you mind will believe anything.

Men will believe what they see.
— Henry David Thoreau

A huge component of what I teach my clients is mindset and vibrational energy (whether they are business coaching clients learning how to monetize their message or running through my personal development program in order to improve their relationships, confidence and self-worth).

You are a product of the people and conversations you surround yourself with and this extends to what you watch, listen to and read. Now I’m not saying never watch a sad movie again. But bring awareness to what you’re feeding your mind and how it’s making you feel.

Let me give you an example of how this played out for me in my late 20’s. I was living in London with my friend Laura. We had a tiny two up, two down terraced house (which is England speak for a teeny tiny house) in East London. This was before the days of streaming and we still watched DVD’s. Laura and I went on holiday to visit another friend of ours who lived in Cambodia where we purchased the entire box set of Grey’s Anatomy for the price of 8666.98 Riel which is exactly 3 Aussie dollars. We were stoked. Fuck you Blockbuster, we’ve got our hands on some caseless dodgy ripped DVD’s and we’re super proud of ourselves.

We returned to London as winter set in and we started to binge. Every night we would get home, change into our pyjamas and throw on the next episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

patrick_dempsey_greys_anatomy_dead.jpg
 This is how Laura and I used to roll. Except it was really more like us in our Pyjamas on the sofa.

This is how Laura and I used to roll. Except it was really more like us in our Pyjamas on the sofa.

(For those of you unfamiliar with Grey’s Anatomy is a medical drama series focused on a group of young impossibly beautiful doctors in a Seattle hospital who navigate an array of dramatic events all of which are perpetuated by a score of music designed to give you your very own heart attack but don’t be fooled, the triage nurse at Stratford A&E absolutely won’t look like Patrick Dempsey.)

All was going well until halfway through season 2, we slipped the DVD of episodes 4-6 into the DVD player only for it to show black and white.

We tested the next DVD. Same thing.

Yep, our illegal rip off DVD’s were bloody illegal!

Bugger. We had 12 seasons of black and white medical drama.

Meh, we could live without colour.

We resumed watching.

But it was all we watched.

It got obsessive.

Two, sometimes three and occasionally four episodes a night of hard hitting, highly tense drama devoid of colour.

That shit takes its toll.

After a few weeks Laura came home complaining of feeling near anxious.

I knew how she felt.

What was it?

Why did we both feel so heavy?

Sure British winter sucks, but this energy was so dense.

We felt very bleak. 

Could it be?

Was it time to discard our illegal contraband and flick over to a comedy?

A feel good episode of Friends perhaps?

Life changed instantly.

Colour returned, our mouths remembered how to smile instead of frown, our nervous systems came back from the constant brink of tension and life felt better.

I have been aware of what I watch ever since.

Now I’m not saying avoid wonderful films like A Star Is Born altogether or never watch an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

Jeez we all have to live in the modern age and TV shows are great and movies mean Choc Tops. It is however worth remembering that our wonderful brains are very good at believing everything they see and hear and not so good at identifying fact from fiction.

So be careful what you feed it.

Question what you’re told.

And know that you have the power to create any reality you choose – you just need to learn how to identify and manifest the life you desire.

 Bradley Cooper giving this blog two big thumbs up!

Bradley Cooper giving this blog two big thumbs up!

If you’d like to know more on this topic, specifically how your current reality around money, business, love and health come from experiences which may not be your own and therefore can be changed in an instant, join my free Facebook group for the next FREE course coming soon! Join here and congratulations, you’ve found your tribe.

As for this blog, hit me up with your comments and questions. It’s always heaps more interesting when this turns into a conversation.

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Em x