How To Cope At Christmas When Life Feels Fucking Awful

I am sat on a train (hard) whilst I type this blog which is to be published on Christmas eve of 2018.

 Follow me on  Insta emily_thatcrazythingcalledlife  for day to day hilarity on my stories (more funny than this example I promise!)

Follow me on Insta emily_thatcrazythingcalledlife for day to day hilarity on my stories (more funny than this example I promise!)

Two stops ago some teenager walked past me leaving a cloud of hormones and Lynx Africa in his wake. After I caught my breath (why do they still produce Lynx Africa? It wasn’t great in the 80’s and it sure as shit doesn’t smell any better almost 4 decades on!) the smell jolted me back to my own teenage years and as I slip through the countryside, inching closer and closer to London, my friends and my family, I travel inside my mind too, up and down the timeline of my life, memories real and imagined that have been pieced together to create my history.

Memories of last Christmas spent alone, without the money in my account to buy a plane ticket home to my family. Sad and heartbroken in the wake of my ex partner leaving and swirling in a cloud of grief following the death of my Mum. I was utterly exhausted by life. It seems so far removed from this year; how much can change in such a short time.

This year, I’ve been asked in various ways by many of you how to survive Christmas when life feels like it taken a really big shit right on top of you.

Maybe you’re facing your first Christmas after the death of a loved one.

Maybe you’ve recently had your heart broken or your trust betrayed and you’re still trying to catch your breath and make sense of it all.

Maybe you’re wondering how the hell you’re going to pay rent in January or just feeling dejected, alone and very very sad.

And I get it.

That was me on the eve of Christmas day last year.

So what did I do? How did I get through it and what did I do to change it?

 

Getting Through it.

  1. Know this. Nothing is permanent. This day will end. This feeling will transcend into something different. This situation will resolve. It won’t be like this forever. Just keep breathing. This too shall pass and all that.

  2. Be around love. Last year I spent the day with friends eating prawns and slowly boiling from the inside out in 35 degree Australian heat and although it wasn’t like being with my family, it did keep me out of my own head (which was a dark place of martyrdom).

    Originally I had wanted to ignore the whole day and at one point conjured a plan to drive down the coast solo.

    Luckily my Dad and my mates persuaded me that this was a truly fucking terrible idea born from victimhood and Hollywood imagery.

    They were right. I am not Eat, Pray, Love! and trying to show the world how upset I was by making myself more upset wasn’t going to impress anyone.

    So accept that invite from your cousin Jan or from your mates Caz and Daz and make the best of the day. Manage expectation because no, it’s not going to be the Christmas you’re used to but you can’t change that right now so don’t cut off your nose to spite your own face.

  3. Be kind to yourself. 

    And I don’t mean treat yourself to another glass of wine. I did that all day every day this time last year and it did not end well. I mean nourish your body, seek help for your soul, gently exercise your body and allow yourself the grace and time to heal. Surround yourself with good people (join my FREE community HERE) and stop resisting what has happened. In my experience, the pain is in the resistance so accept what is and then use this time to build your strength so you can start exercising your free will and creating your new future.

 

Changing It

  1. Exercise your free will. You can either be the victim of your own life or be the victor of it. For more on this, check out this blog HERE.

  2. Find someone who you resonate with and lives the type of life you want to live. Then ask them how they went about it. What did they do? How did they choose to behave? What did they choose to believe? How did they forgive, heal, move on, change their reality?

    Life is not a solo sport and if you run onto the pitch alone you will lose.

    I have a team of amazing mentors and coaches who have helped me sort my shit out so that in the space of one short year I am now surrounded by more love, money and happiness than ever before.

    If you want to join my tribe, I have one spot left in my group coaching program starting Jan 4th (2019). Email me at emily@emilychadbourne.com for more info and one of my team will be in touch to arrange a chat with me personally.

  3. Connect to how you want it to be.

    So often in life when everything feels hard and like it’s all going wrong, it can become very easy to fixate on problem.

    What we focus on grows in this world so start engaging with how you want life to be. In the same way a whiff of Lynx Africa can time travel me back 2 decades, I also have the mental power to time travel forward in time, connecting to the future version of me (who knows all the answers).

    If this sounds all a bit woo woo and mental, I get it. I used to think it was all a load of shit too but then a coach of mine introduced me to a specific type of visualisation which changed my world. It helped me connect with the version of me who was living the life of my dreams and helped me make resourceful decisions.

    As a very special Christmas gift, I am offering you this powerful visualisation. I’m not even asking for an email address. I’m literally just giving you the link (but do feel free to subscribe – cheeky!) because I know how much this exercise changed my life and I want to give you the same gift.

Listen HERE.

 

So, if you’re struggling this Christmas please remember that everything can change in such a short period of time.

This time last year, I shared some of the powerful lessons 2017 had brought me in a Facebook live – you can watch it HERE.

Even then I knew that I would come through the dark tunnel, I just had to hold on.

So please, do the same.

Life is a truly beautiful thing.

Keep believing and if you need any additional support, here are some useful numbers.

If you’re in the UK text 741741 when you are feeling depressed or suicidal, a crisis worker will text you back immediately and continue to text with you. Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14 and Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636

Merry Christmas, Em x

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Comments 1

  1. Our Christmas was different this year – we decided on no presents as some of the family were not flush and we had Pizza for supper. We celebrated the weekend after Christmas and most had already had a turkey dinner somewhere over the holidays. It was fun to get together and talk and play a few games. The important thing was just being able to be together. My mom is 98. Who knows how much longer she will be around.

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